Thursday, 26 January 2017

Oh dear, oh my .... my give a damn meter has been turned OFF!

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There are a few things that are really annoying me, but I am really trying to focus on trying to withdraw something positive from this whole experience.  One of the gifts wisdom has so wonderfully bestowed upon me is to try to turn EVERYTHING from wine (or whine) to vinegar (rinse out the anguish) to champagne!  (Pop, let it out.  Let er RIP!)  

Well, giggle, snort ... very few people even read my blogs.  Like today, for instance!!  Geez, what a day of a hell on a week bouncing around WIRED.  This really young chap where I work came sauntering in today (yes, that is a great word even for someone not writing a novel or a script ... to be made into a play or a movie ... where she stars opposite that guy who plays the latest Superman and Man from U.N.C.L.E. dreamboat of "if I were 10 or 20 younger....).  I complimented him on his advancement which his chest puffed right out of when he then introduced his brother, whom he was escorting and showing around his new workplace.  Timing is everything ... timing things right is a gift isn't it?  

He said:  "Ah, yes, and Jeannette is a writer of a blog and has many many followers on social media."  WOW, I got a zinger:  "I said, aw, thanks, so you've read it then?"  This young whipper-snapper politely referred to as a chap.  (NOW, you GET IT).   He was too young, and still blinded by the glory of the compliment, through the glow came the honest answer:  "Uh, no".

Someone older and wiser would giggle, snort or gleefully snicker at the big trap the chap had just handed to them.  Like forcing a speeder with a strong tendency to get off on police car chases, disciples of Fast and Furious fame to go lay a tire popper track thinga majiggy then back his car up a few blocks away, start a cop car chase, being hunted and pursued.  Then go exactly the familiar way, and driving over that popper track thinga majiggy that blows up tires contraption.  

I was forced to exude my frustration and humility in writing here.  Unencumbered.  Fairly alone with my harmonious strokes of my thoughts, my fingers, to the keys.  Hardly read.  Maybe there is freedom in that.  I admit, I've been peeking around writing about nothing more than experimenting with styles and topics that appeal to me.  Even for me, it is getting a little confusing.  

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I trust a champion will emerge or a gust of more than a few readers, or maybe five on a good day.  I know it can happen.  It has happened to me a couple of times on my optioneerjm.blogspot.ca blog where a particular post would bounce around a lot and jiggle with some spikes in readership.  It was a glorious two times that resonate.  The elusive reward of actually resonating with a certain group of people, under any number of topics, or a singular interest or passion shared.  A nice feeling when you're more used to a horseshoe curve, more like a wish or a hope to be blessed with a little traction.  It is really great.

I couldn't imagine being one of those bloggers who just blogs, turning a passion into writing or writing into a passion with uninhibited ability to express oneself in whatever fashion they want.  I got a hint last weekend, a great weekend.  In fact, one of my greatest or most favorite weekends I can remember from a very long time.  Maybe it WAS 10 years ago when I got married to the love of my life, Rob.  My affectionate version being "the Hunkster Hubster" mostly in my tweets as @optioneerJM .  My whole family was together.  It has been only since August when we were all together, but for a wedding, it was clouded with intricacies of varying family dynamics is not any definition of quality family time!

I had the nerve to send this email to an organization, whom I edited out for obvious and legal reasons:


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Why do your communications not include a website link what-so-EVER?  Not even a paragraph as to who represents "communications@------------,ca" ? along with an alternative contact internal IMMEDIATE contact encrypted to hide for privacy but also someone where it can get IMMEDIATE attention.  Also include the time frame in which a person can anticipate a reply .. be realistic, but be sure you are really really close to following that rule or you will sink your trust in your attentiveness (or lack thereof), lose loyalty faster than the price of oil, to any messages you send out.  

 ~ Jeannette 
    @optioneerJM
"you need my help" . calm


Sunday, 15 January 2017

Friday the 13th



A tenth anniversary too
Life can't get any more interesting than mulling over the fact that yesterday was my 10th Wedding Anniversary .... then it hit me that it WAS Friday the 13th.  My mom questioned the wisdom of getting married on the date with 13th.  

Wouldn't that be bad luck?
I reckoned that since my husband, the Hunkster Hubster, I affectionately call him was born on the 13th of December, you couldn't get any luckier than that, because 2x13=26 so it really isn't bad luck.  If you take his birth month and birth date, you get 25 (12+13) ... with mine as 22 (04+18) making him ODD and me even.



A full moon risen
to add intrigue to the insight, we have a beautiful winter moon.  It doesn't get more surreal than this:  a ghostly moon because of the artic air descended upon us, a fainted white.  From the reflection of the snow and crystals casting about a diamond glow.

The future for sure
How back then I probably imagined what our life would be like.   Because there were a few things we both felt strongly about:

  • our kids
  • making a family
  • home



Blended dreams
folded into goals.  To bring together four really quite bright kids and wish for the best.  We blended more than our kids, we began new traditions that today envelope wonderful memories.  

Almost comical
as to what we worried about back then.  Would the Princess eat at the table with the rest of the royalty, whom were never allowed to treat her as though she invaded our home.  Do we really expect to continue to sit at the table for dinner every single night, as he'd observed as our home life.  



Upheaval be damn
was my battle cry.  I would never allow normalcy be invaded by doom.  The best to hang on to are the traditions that were mired in each other's parents homes.  A nightly dinner with a tastefully set table was as normal as it ever has been in years since.  

Soccer teams
and soccer moms.  Lined up on the field, relaxing with a cup of usually Tim Horton's coffee.  Known to be different, mine would be star bucks in a thermos,
a throwback to the days I spent at the arena in my youth, with a sparkle in my eye that I would become a member of the Ice Capades in a few short years.  If I worked hard.  Even after I started to be able to drive myself to those 6 a.m. skates, my mom would always make me some hot chocolate in a thermos to have between figures and free skate or dance.   One of those things you take for granted, become implanted with habits carried into our adulthood, parenthood.



And a dog named Buddy
Our best friend, companion, faithful, loyal, protective guardian of our hearts.  I'm talking about all of us.  Realizing now, how difficult it was to trust again, to give someone else your heart, so fearful of having it trampled upon.  Again.

10 years of craziness
I would be remiss or untruthful if I said anything otherwise.  Yikes.  Three girls in their hormonal prime:  12, 13, 15 years old.  Then the sole boy 17 then.  The girls took their turns with their theatrics and drama a heart beat away.  By the two older girls, not the baby of the family, a girl.   She hung back, took it all in, keen to observe.  And learn.  To be better than them at causing parents heart attacks and heart ache at such potential being thrown away.



How far we've come since
One daughter married, another one kicking ass in university, the other one killing it in Vancouver, starting to really shine.  It is really rewarding to watch how they blossom.  Even the, at times, lonely son.  Such strong character, work ethic and morals gracefully etched into their beings.  The blending together must have really worked.  A bond created among all, including the new brother by married for the son.  

What wasted time worrying is
Try as much as you want, someone else is steering your life.  Is it God?  Is it fate?  Is it by design?  You are on a worldly path, setting strong examples for your children in your own beliefs, morals and kindness you try to uphold.  The Hunkster Hubster is a very strong man.  Not just in stature but in demeanor and presence.  How cool for someone to have such an anchor, from within themselves.



You may wonder what's your path?
..... are you on track, been misguided, failed or succeeded?  Life laughs at its own sense of humor as you discover you already have.  Creating this peaceful, safe, nucleus of family, is a success many dream of.  

Except now the table is bigger
and will eventually grow even more.  As grandchildren and boyfriends and praying for wife and more husbands build and grow from the foundation.  Of two apprehensive in taking a risk on love.  For the most part, our home is still the focal point in most of our lives.  Drifting in importance other times.  



Contentment and peacefulness
is an art of the life kind.  To be home, with just the Hunkster Hubster and our faithful companion, Buddy, the dog.  Is bliss and oasis rolled into one.  I could be at home 24/7.  Without a blip.  Writing and painting, cooking and creating an ever evolving home and garden.  It really is where I want to be most of the times.

Paradise in blue green waters
pull me back in my reflection of the past 10 years.  There have been life events and priorities that have prevented that annual honeymoon in far away places we wanted to explore together.



I worry a little
that we wont get a chance to again, since it was annual up until after the fourth year.  A go at a company, primarily run by my husband, when it was suppose to be forward march together.  I acted on the gleam in my eye that was caused by a great career opportunity so my focus was sporadic.  

If I only I knew then 
what I know now how things would have been different.  Using the internet and social media to market the company since time was a limited resource available for contribution back then.  



Building trust and memories
is never an easy feat.  Yet we have done so together, mildly so since the baby of the family left two years, almost three years ago.  Restored or instilled into sharing our life together.

Now is as important as ever
as we are in our fifties and wise to the twists and turns and speedbumps that can surface unexpectedly.  While firm in the commitment, the contentment found with each other's company.  We like it.  We enjoy it.  I can't imagine spending it with anyone else.


Happy Anniversary Love
xoxoxoxoxo Jeannette